Today is the beginning of the rest of my life

2007-06-17T01:12:00.000+10:00

first day apart in 3 months. i'm glad he's coming home tomorrow.

2007-03-08T16:11:00.000+11:00

i love grape flavoured gummies.
gobble..

2007-03-05T02:53:00.000+11:00

Why is it that people keep banging their heads against the wall when we know that the banging will hurt, even if we clutch their head in pain and vow never to do it again? Yet as the pain subsides, we stand up and suddenly ready for round two. Maybe we do it in the hope that despite the hardness of the wall, we can somehow break through and see the person on the other side. But inevitability, we end up hurt and shattered during the process. If the walls don't break, if the person on the other side cannot see or worse doesn’t care, then it is high time that we stop, turn around and walk away.

2007-02-06T04:34:00.000+11:00

How many people can tell you that they will always catch you when you fall, anytime, anywhere. And how many people actually mean it. Who will take all of your shit when you are depressed. And who will force the reason behind your bad mood from your mouth no matter how hard you resist.

I am grateful for your persistence, patience and tolerance. You are like no other.

tick tock

2006-12-19T03:34:00.000+11:00

as the time draws nearer and nearer, i am filled with sadness and trepidation. will i be strong or will i breakdown i have no idea, i guess i'll find out when the time comes. for the moment, i wish that there is 48 and not 24 hours in a day to spend with the people i like the most.

Kuala Lumpur

2006-11-15T18:55:00.000+11:00

When you have a problem and that problem is one of a repetative nature, only 2 things may enable you to temporarily forget:
1) fun with friends
2) loads of work
Number 1 was exactly what I had last week, frolicking around KL with dear "sharon" and joshi. After nearly a year of being apart, I was overjoyed to realise that nothing has changed between us. Sure we've all grown, matured and made other friends along the way, but somehow, we've grown together despite being geographically challenged. Our individual friends have also become a part of each other's lives. Our connection, adoration and loyalty have remained, and I know that this is something very special, not to be had every day. So, being engulfed by their love for 1 whole week was the best medicine i could have wished for. KL was beautiful because they made it so.
Thank you guys, you mean a whole lotta things to me.
Sniff sniff... bite...

2006-10-25T00:34:00.000+10:00

i think sometimes we would all like to delude ourselves into thinking that we can less about a person than we actually do for fear of the consequence of knowing just how much they affect you. but if they are the first person you turn to when you are scared and unsure, if they are the person you turn to when you need support, if only they can make you smile and laugh when you are feeling down, when their attempt to cheer you up were lame and yet you still feel 100% times better, when one word of advice and or chiding from them gives you the energy to go on then it's probably safe to say that you like them more than you would like to admit. when you do find that person, don't be afraid to latch onto them like a rock. because the support and strength you get from them is worth the fear. and if they take the time out to indulge you in your little whims and whines, then just maybe they like you more than they'd like to admit too.

one more year

2006-10-15T18:43:00.000+10:00

Friday 13th marked the official day of yet another year older. Another year of new happenings, losses, triumphs, all of them lasting memories. Be they good or bad, i'm thankful that now i have them to add to the collection i already have in my head. I think the most precious thing we have, that belongs to us alone, are our memories. I will never forget the way an old song playing on the ferry made me go back to 13 years ago, dancing between to parents and to this exact same song. Or the way my first puppy felt in my hands and the wetness of his nose when i gently kissed him. Or the first time i tried vodka and thought it tasted like puke. Or the very first time when someone in primary school told me that he liked me.

Cheers. Here's to many more of these years to come.

2006-10-10T00:02:00.001+10:00

It's beautiful how sometimes if we just stop and look around for a bit, we are able to forget, for the time being all the trouble that's plaguing our lives. Like when you look outside the window and see a full moon and you realise (although you've known this all your life) that no matter where you are on this earth, you look up and see the same moon. The same shape, the same colour, the same distance.
So the next time you are angry and feel like ripping your hair out or having a big cry, sit and look around you, after 10 minutes nothing seems so bad anymore, and then you can approach whatever you are facing with at least some sense of calm and decisiveness.

Doddles

2006-09-21T00:54:00.000+10:00

This wednesday officially marks my first wednesday in a long time without being under the influence of lovely poison known as alcohol. After leaving beijing, i have come to realise that my alcohol consumption level, as well as my energy have dwindled down to very little. True, i still take an occassional beer or two, but no longer am i on a rampage with my gang every wednesday, friday and saturday. And at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, i miss it. Maybe not so much the booze, but the fun and entertainment my people bring to it. Can't wait till i see them again...3 weeks and counting...

Birthday wishes

2006-09-19T00:03:00.000+10:00

So i'm here, wishing my beautiful friend Michelle a happy but belated birthday. I hope you had a good one Michelle. I miss you very much here and you are constantly on my mind, in my thoughts.

2006-09-11T05:13:00.000+10:00

Pride, can be one's asset as well as one's downfall. When we are in a difficult situation, sometimes pride comes to our rescue and lessen the pain. Other times, you wish you had not so much pride that you miss the window of opportunity to have your questions answered or let another know exactly how you feel. I wonder if there is some kind of manual on when one should use pride and when one should discard it and let yours tears run.

One another note, today i feel more of an adult than ever. Accepting consequences and taking responsibilities for my actions. Just hope that i will still feel the same way in 1 week's time...

2006-09-04T03:50:00.000+10:00

Always on my mind

Baby I didn’t treat you, quite as good as I should have
Baby I didn’t love you, quite as often as I could have
Little things I should’ve said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on mind, you were always my mind

Baby I didn’t hold you, all those lonely lonely times
And I guess I never told you, I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I made you feel second best, girl I’m sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind, you were always on my mind

2006-09-04T03:47:00.000+10:00

They say that for another to really love you, you must first love yourself. And when you allow an asshole to treat you badly and hurt you, this probably means that you don't love and respect yourself enough. And so we try. We try hard to love ourselves in the hope that once we succeed, being loved by another will follow. While this is all good in theory, the reality is that once your heart falls, this assumption is blown to pieces. For no matter how much our head reasons, our emotions always get the better of us. And when you do give your heart to someone, sometimes willingly and other times unwittingly, you open yourself to the possibility that he/she may not take care of it. However, maybe this is the only way one would learn to love oneself more. After experiencing pain and anguish we are finally able to see our worth, and all this is just in preparation for the right person. The person who you could trust, the person you know you would never have to compete for, the person who you are able to show your weakness and flaws to and still feel safe with at the end of the day. Hollow as these words seem to be, i hope that we are all able to find that one person some day.

Corny yet true

2006-08-14T20:43:00.000+10:00

While browsing online today, i came across this little piece. Things that seem so corny, and yet strikes a cord. Here it goes:

To see a world in a grain of sand. And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand . And eternity in an hour.

Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, not only about survival

Let's write that letter we thought of writing "one of these days".

I love you not because of who you are, because of who I am when I am with you .

No man or woman is worth your tears,and the one who is,won't make you cry.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Never frown,even when you are sad,because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Don't waste your time on a man/woman ,who isn`t willing to waste their time on you.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

And forever has no end.

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us.

The days of our lives

2006-08-13T04:30:00.000+10:00

What do you expect when you put 30 young people together in one company and they all hang out together perpetually? Answer: Daily Soap. It's amazing how much gossip and stories we have running here. If one was ever going to go into day time drama this would be the perfect place to start. And if i have to be totally honest, it's delicious. As long as ofcourse, if you are not involved in the gossip personally...

Freedom?

2006-08-10T03:34:00.000+10:00

some of us want to be free souls. to not be tied down, but to soar and occassionally find a resting place. we want to make decisions alone, and we don't always necessarily include our significant other half in the decision making process. so we always expect them to fly with us. that is, until we meet another whose soul is even freer than our own. whose need for different life experiences so big that we become the "insignificant". all of a sudden, we are the ones who want to be tied down, who wants to be factored into their lives. and so here lies the dilemma. why is it that we want to be free when it's better that we aren't and why is it that we don't want to be when it's better that we are. and how do we fix it?

Age and experience

2006-07-30T19:08:00.000+10:00

It is true what they say, that wisdom often comes with age. Even after we turn 21 and become supposedly a fully-fledged adult, we are often faced with questions pertaining to our maturity. Our mums and dads question us, our older peers question us, and every now and again we question ourselves. I admit even now, sometimes I cringe at my own actions and ponder in all night long just how old I think I am. That is until I encounter someone with less experience than I. It was a Wednesday night; she was fresh out of high school and dressed from head to toe in white. It is amazing what 5 years could give a person. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel so young anymore, I realized just how much I have matured and grown over the last few years. Every little experience which didn’t seem so important at that time had combined to give me a whole new perception on things. True, on many occasions I am still the young naïve girl I was when I was 18, but the there’s still a long journey ahead of all of us. Every bump, every rock, and every ass**** we encounter on the way makes us older, stronger and wiser. And hopefully at the end of our journey is the destination we call maturity.

Who is Chloe?

2006-06-21T03:13:00.000+10:00

I confess, before 2005 i have never been acquainted with the label Chloe, whose first collection was launched 50 years ago. A symbol of new fashion: modern, feminine, with a parisian left Bank spirit, it's certainly given chic a new name. Floaty soft materials, neutral yet bright colours, sensuous designs and ready-to-wear. The only problem? WAY TO DAMN EXPENSIVE!!! For those of us who are unable to buy the Chloe clothes in masses, fortunately there's a thing called "fake market", a place where you can buy to to your heart's content without leaving you bankrupt (well... actually there are exceptions), what a great way to satisfy your cravings before you hit the real thing... sigh...

Hey Mama

2006-06-15T02:02:00.000+10:00

BEP, aka Black Eyed Peas, are coming! and yours truly have booked tickets to this what some people would call "bimbotic" group. Since they've playing in July, I've got about a month of anticipation to go.... so what better way to channel this anticipation than to turn it into a brain storming of outfit planning for the gig. No my schmmiggle, BJ hasn't changed koala one bit... still trying to match the activity to the clothes.

World Cup 2008

2006-06-12T04:03:00.000+10:00

So it starts again. Once every 4 years, i turn into a fanatic fan of football, and an avid fan for the next 3. This year, it's for me closer than ever to home. Working for a german company while the world cup is going on in their very own country, has brought me alot closer to this cup than any other. So, the slogan for 2008 WC is a time to make friends and stop racism. And even during the first few games, i have seen things which perhaps brought a slight twinkle of tears to my eyes.
Argentina and Ivory Coast showed each other what true sportmanship meant by both foregoing the ball-kick that had been the result of a messy tug of war, or when Mexico won against Iran and the Mexican goal keeper was comforted by every single one of his team-mates at the end of the game for not being able to save the first goal but still went on kicking and gave a performance. Or better still when the Mexican team aligned themselves and walked towards and bow to their fellow country-men who have travelled far to cheer on their team, or when the Iranian players thanked their supporters even though they had lost. This display of the uniting of hearts and patriotism shown by everyone at the Cup is what makes football really great and i do believe that words alone are insufficient to describe what one feels when they are watching this brilliant game.

Viva la football

Speechless

2006-06-09T11:51:00.000+10:00

Hives and poisonous mosquito bites... I have no words, I am officially out of things to say apart from "it's getting ridiculous and i can't stand it".

Funny moments

2006-06-06T22:33:00.000+10:00

There are moments in life where you look back on and crack up. I had one of those today. Replay the year 2002, summer night at approximately 9:00pm:

Me: deciding after dinner that i was going to give myself a facial and apply an apricot and oatmeal pack to my face

My father sits in the living room, watching his nightly dose of news and political talkshows. Five minutes later i was done. I slip quietly out of the bathroom and approaches my dad with a thick white paste all over the face except for the eyes and mouth. I stand, next to the couch where he seemed so absorbed and whispers: "dad"

Dad: turns around and literally jumps out of the chair. He exclaims "what the hell did you put all over your face??!! I thought i saw a ghost!!"

This documents my father's first introduction to the world of "facial". And being the vain pot he is, since that moment on, i would get the question now and then "are there any left over for my face?"

Musings

2006-06-05T02:21:00.000+10:00

I don't know if it's work, the city or the people. All of a sudden i'm filled with tiredness and boredom. Was it because the excitement of moving to a city all by yourself has finally died down, or that you've spent too much time doing the same thing over and over again. I would never say that i'm tired of the people that i've come to known and love but if not that, then what? The past few days have gone by with me cranky, snappy, annoyed and paranoid about everything. Maybe it's not the place or the people, but me. Maybe what is really needed here is time and space to yourself, to unwind and do your own thing, for closeness is a thing you enjoy the most when you have been left without.

What kind of friend are you?

2006-05-30T20:23:00.000+10:00

So last weekend, I went shopping. Not only had I a list in my head of what I wanted to buy, I also had an idea of what I wanted to buy for a friend. And so I found it: a pair of cuff links, rectangle with black stones. It looked o-so-chic and I couldn't wait to give it to him. Along came Sunday night, as I prepared to go his place for a drink, I tried to jog my memory in order to remember where I had put those links. To my horror, my recollection informed me that the last I had seen them was when I stuffed them into a black plastic bag, and that black plastic bag sadly had been dumped into the bin that very morning. Thoughts ran through my head, and a battle began. Side 1: no don't pick them up, you threw it away in the morning, by now people would have dumped so much rubbish on them that you would have to tip the whole bin over and you might not even find them. Come on, it's only 15RMB. Side 2: but it's really pretty and who is to say that you will find them again and you like them so much. It抯 not too bad, you remember that they were in a black plastic bag you can find it! 2 minutes later side 2 won and i trotted off to the bin in the staircase. It was too disgusting, pizza boxes, half eaten melons, strawberries gone bad, baby nappies you name it you got it. But i was determined. I even braved embarrassment when another lady came out of her apartment to through garbage into that particular bin. 10 minutes later, voila. I held them in my hand and they looked to me to be the most beautiful cuff links in the world. And so the next time you ask me what kind of a friend are you? My answer is going to be: one who would go through rubbish for you.

PS: thanks Sid for the lovely photos that you so conveniently took...yes i am the rubbish queen

DNA Map

2006-05-23T02:50:00.000+10:00

I am a sucker for quizzes. and so when i saw that my dear schmiggle had taken a DNA test, i thought it was high time i took one too.

My Personal Dna Report

Nolstagia - "Nothing like you and I"

2006-05-22T23:15:00.000+10:00

Everytime this song plays, loads of memories flow back. It goes something like this:

We've spent time together, walking, spend some time just talking about the who we were
you held my hand so very tightly, and told me what we could be, dreaming of
there's nothing like you and I, nothing like you and I
there's nothing like you and I

we've spent some time together drinking, spent some time just thinking about days of joy
as our hearts started beating faster, i recall your laughter from long ago
there's nothing like you and I, nothing like you and I
there's nothing like you and i

We spent some time together, crying, spent some time just trying to let each other go
i held your hand so very tightly, and told you what i would be dreaming of
there's nothing like you and i, nothing like you and i
there's nothin glike you and i

so why do i even try, there's nothing like you and i

New things tried

2006-05-12T03:42:00.000+10:00

weeks have passed since my last update and mundane things have come and went. a trip during the may holidays saw me nearly stuck in shanghai without a hope of getting back to beijing for work on time without at least spending 1200 and realising i had lost my bankcard 2 days after it got gobbled by the machine and many troubles with the visa, things have finally started settling down. sunday was a good day as any to go to the lake and do some peddaling with the boat. it turned out to be an electric boat, enough to fit 4 people and surprise surprise i was the captain. as it turns out, steering a boat is just the same as steering a car...totally hopeless. now, i realise that normally it is the captain giving orders and mates who take them, but in this case, the captain who was often meant to turn right and instead turns left took herbest shot but finally gave up her reign after getting stuck for 10 mins under a bridge and turning around in circles. however she vows to return to the lake this weekend and conquer the metal monster at whatever cost.

another thing that i am going to learn this weekend is how to ride a bike. strange as it may seem, this little koala has no idea at all on the mysteries connected with the workings of this strange creature. but my rommate, bless his soul, has decided that i will be well acquainted with the "bike" before i leave beijing... and tonight (even if it was just in the apartment and we didn't venture more than 30 cms other than going back and forth) after much troubles at first, i have jumped onto the black leather seat and finally felt home in "the land of the travelling bicycles".

The German Boyband

2006-04-06T03:09:00.000+10:00

As the manager of "East Life" I would like to invite all you lovable people to their concert. Donation of $5.00 or more at the door is much appreciated. Your generosity could change their lives.

My girls in Beijing

2006-04-06T03:03:00.000+10:00

Constant state of flurry

2006-03-31T23:37:00.000+11:00

After exactly 3 and half of being unable to log onto blogger.com or being able to read people's blogs, i have finally returned and man it feels so good. A quick update on the Beijing status: the past 3 months here have been great. After getting over the initial fear and hesitation, it feels that beijing has finally opened up its arms and embraced me. I've officially gone from the girl peering out out from her apartment window and feeling lost and lonely in this big city to a girl who works happily from monday to friday and party even happier on friday nights and enjoying a walk around "houhai" lake and enjoying real coffee and shopping many a saturday and sunday. What makes it better is the people around you whom i have grown to love, beautiful people who have accepted me from day one. I could not have asked for better. Yet, sometimes i still yearn for the days back in melbourne, days of laughter with my girls, days of binge trips to macdonalds, days of shopping on chapel and memories which resurfaces from time to time which reminds of just how much i have left behind. Nevertheless, life is about moving forward, thus as i walk along this new path my biggest wish is that the best part of my past will walk with me.

testing

2006-03-31T23:36:00.000+11:00

greetings to myself

THE HOLY WAR

2005-11-09T01:25:00.000+11:00

Religion; it defines our faith, our purpose, our journey through life. What does it mean to have a religion, to be a religious person? You follow the teachings of God, and you do what you believe He needs you to do, what He has willed. Throughout history, men, righteous men have justified their actions by referring to them as the “will of God”. They have waged wars, crusaded against heretics, and cleansed what has been soiled, all in the name of God. Is that what God tells us to do? To clean our land of “evil” by bloodshed and eradication? I watched Kingdom of Heaven today, and it has really struck a chord. Our religion may give us the basic foundation of humanity through our actions and inactions, but it is also your conscious that defines you as a great person. Religion is not about speaking Him name in vain and talk about Him in a mechanical way, but about what is in your heart and your head and who you decide to become each day of your life. Just a thought….

Now we hope that none of you will be slain, but we wish you to know that the Kingdom of Heaven will be given as a reward to those who shall be killed in this war.

- Pope Leo IV

The eternal mystery of life and death

2005-11-08T02:52:00.000+11:00

If there is one mystery that even the most studied philosophers cannot solve, then death is it. We know it, we fear it and one day, all of us must face it, but until that day arrives, denial is a good place to be as any. As a christian, we are taught that there is life after death. He who is almighty will prepare space in heaven for you and your loved ones, and when that day arrives you will meet again and love each other equal like brothers and sisters. There will be no war, no pain, no suffering. Instead there'll be love, just love and nothing else. So when you lose a loved one, do not cry, because you will see them again. And know that to follow God you must sacrifice all things and put Him first and if losing someone is what must happen to you, then you must face it. Sure I love God, and I believe in His love and His plans for me, but at the risk of sounding un-christian, I must admit, every time I hear this being preached, I scoff. Words don't mean shit when you lose a mother, a father, a child, a brother, sister, husband or lover. Being preached to will not lessen the pain, nor the anger or the silent screams you feel inside coz ultimately even though you can talk about death all you want, the balances, the inevitable, the happy after-life in a matter of fact way, none of us know what really happens after we die. Will our parents still love us in an all-sacrificing way once we are in heaven? because after-all we are all supposed to love each other in the same way once we enter the golden gates. Will you still feel the kind of passion you once felt for your partner when you rejoin them after death, I mean we ARE supposed to love like brothers and sisters. And most pressingly do you ever want to be loved by them the same way they love everyone else or do you want more? We don't know... and that's way when I see my mother sleeping at night, I thank Him that he has not taken her away from me, leaving me with the unknown, the questions, the anxiety and left me with the present, the good, and the kind of love that places me above all else.

The Computer Challenge

2005-10-28T11:41:00.000+10:00

In a race against time to find out exactly what is wrong with my (some would call it dodgy brand) Targa Laptop amid the sad sounds of battery churning but nothing happening, I have pulled numerous hairs out (i am so getting a bald spot again), bit my nails, jumped up and down, screamed in frustration and nearly had a nervous break-down. What is it about our laptops not working that sends us into deep into depression. And what makes it worse is it won't work for you, but it will work for the technician sitting across from you that says: "i'm sorry, I can't seem to find anything wrong with your laptop. It's fine"... fine my A**

.... i wonder if schmiggle destroyed my battery...

What's your fashion style

2005-10-13T21:35:00.000+10:00

Your Fashion Style is Urban

You've got a style all your own... and it works
Not too trendy, not too freaky - you've got streetwear down to a science
You always look cute and put together, but keep it comfortable too
You're the type of girl that creates trends and inspires others to be funky

What's" Your Fashion Style?

Musical Notes

2005-09-25T17:59:00.000+10:00

After many ponderings and wonderings, I have finally worked out why is it that so many girls are attracted to musicians, or rather, musically talented guys. Acoustic Night at Manchester Lane has opened up a new chapter in my life titled "the next one better play an instrument". The allure of your guy, sitting in front of a piano or strumming on a guitar while huskily singing something akin to James Blunt.... just the thought of this has me weak at the knees and heart pounding like a drum. The music was so good that i think they should make it mandatory that all guys play at least one kind of instrument... if not for yourself.. then for us?

The faithful companion

2005-09-16T01:58:00.000+10:00

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." --Unknown

I miss you Carlos, Cop and Jack.....so much...

It's a Beautiful City

2005-09-08T22:00:00.000+10:00

Melbourne Melbourne Melbourne, what can I say? Except I love you and I will cry a thousand tears at the end of the year when I leave you.

Another Tuesday night, and instead of being dull and not-happening, Slutty Incorporated headed down to the Melbourne Fashion Week for a night of beautiful clothes, snakeskin clutches and heels so high that I can't walk in. But it was all worth it, watching the too-thin models walk their walk, talk their talk and me furiously listing in my head everything that I want from the show, the four of us had loads and loads of fun. It is an experience unlike any other and I know that we will all treasure it for a long long time to come.

After reading schmiggle's blog, thinking of parting at the end of the year has me feeling all nolstagic...although there were bumps and aches and crashes, i wouldn't trade it for anything...No regrets...It gave me friends who are sooo close that i can't even begin to describe and experiences that has left me breathless...

I use to wish I could wipe the slate clean and start over fresh somewhere else, anywhere but Melbourne... But if the last 3 years has taught me anything.. DAMN but Melbourne is beautiful

It's a pimply affair

2005-09-05T00:01:00.000+10:00

After a week of self-imposed seclusion, my takeovers and securities essay is finally reaching an end. Having started wayyyyyy too late and done not enough research, 2500 words of pure rubbish is ready for print and hand-in. Fingers cross that it will be the type of rubbish that the lecturer will actually allow to pass, otherwise my takeovers life is going to become bleak and hopeless and she will have to dodge a potential murder.....

Unfortunately the essay has also given me a gigantic pimple between my eyebrows, I understand that that would be a good place to get it if you were going down the route of the devine... namely if you looked like a buddha statue, but with fashion week starting tomorrow the pimple is just not helping. Instead of turning up to the shows looking incredibly chic, well at least trying to look incredibly chic, I now will have to be content with a big red pasty looking dot on my forehead.. what a way to go... hopefully the models won't be scared off... Now is the time for loads and loads of pimple cream and wishing and hoping that this traversty will deflate by tuesday...

Personality Tests

2005-08-28T23:07:00.000+10:00

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

A little fall in Falls Creek

2005-08-23T22:53:00.000+10:00

The story starts with 5 hour trip on a tour bus and ends with black and blue bruises all over my legs. Last weekend saw my sluts and I take a much needed break from uni and go on a trip to a beautiful little place called Falls Creek. After enduring 5 hours of miserable coach ride, we were greeted with lots of white fluffy snow. Falls Creek had it ALL!!! In all of my 22 years, I have never seen anything more beautiful. As I snowboarded down the "Drovers Run", I saw mountains after mountains capped with snow, trees dusted with sprinkles of white, clear blue sky and a massive running lake. Although I was a handicap on the snowboard, and had difficulty standing up when both of my feet were securely strapped inside the board, I decided still to brave my shortcomings and board down the mountain. Which I must admit was not a smart idea since I had to board down the mountain with only one foot in the board as I failed miserably to even budge when both of my feet were in the board. And so off I went tumbling down the mountain, splitting my legs and banging my head and ending up with bruises the size of Brazil in multiple places on my legs. Although in pain and agony, this trip was massively good. Being in the company of so many fun-loving friends and nights AND days of card playing as well as having gorgeously hot snowboard instructors to guide you was a real treat.
Thanks guys! Best trip ever!!!!!

And here comes Spring

2005-08-18T17:32:00.000+10:00

This is the first time I've blogged in 3 months, it's been so long that even my internet didn't remember my blog address.... but yes back on track.

Holidays came and went, the only good thing that came out of it is that I am finally on my P's!!!!! Those of you who know me well will understand what an achievement it is for me to finally go for a driving test. After 5 long years of "oh i'm going to get my P's this holiday", "I'll pick you up from the airport when you come back" and other insistent comments all relating to the fact that i promise "this holiday" i will get my P plates i have finally done it. It feels so exhilarating to be driving in my own little car and not having to catch a bus or hitch a ride with my very very nice friends (Joshi, Shan and everyone else a big thank you muah muah). Although i've encounted a few scary moments since driving, but i am quickly moving towards perfecting this beautiful art....wish me LOTS of luck.

On another happy note, my fahion conscious chics and I are going to the Melbourne Spring Fashion Week. Before then, lots of looking around, trying on clothes and choices will be made. I have a feeling that it will be $12.50 well spent. Now, back to raiding of my closet....

Choices

2005-05-19T22:30:00.000+10:00

“It’s impossible to grasp just how powerful love is. It can sustain us through trying times. Or motivate us to make extraordinary sacrifices. It can make decent men commit the darkest deeds. Or compel ordinary women to search for hidden truth. And long after we’re gone, love remains; burned into our memories. We all search for love but some of us, after we’ve found it, wish we hadn’t.”

- Desperate Housewives

I recently became acquainted with my mum's favourite magazine "Life & Love", which I must admit, after initial skepticism and doubt, found it to be a very happening piece of read. Some stories spoke of triumphs, others heartaches. One author who particularly caught my eye, posed some very interesting questions on the topic of love. We women are constantly waiting, waiting to be loved, waiting to love. But in a crazy and unpredictable world like today, loving will scorch you. Loving will not necessarily lead you to the yellow brick road, instead it is a journey full of thorns, rocks and scars. So in an equation that contains 3 constants with each leading to a different result, would you choose:
A. love,
B. marriage or
C. happiness

The Mourning Period

2005-05-18T00:43:00.000+10:00

So that's it..after an anxiety filled week followed by a nervous weekend waiting for a call that should have came.. yet never did, all you are left with is disappointment and self-doubt. This is the era of darkness, the period of mourning. AND uni is not a happy place to be with exam looming just ahead and talks of people getting good jobs wherever you go. Who is it that told me slugging through uni for the first 4 years but work your ass off for the last one should be shot! Instead, the alternative route of: "should have worked hard, could have looked for vacation placement thus wouldn't be in this mess" should have been taken!! Advice for newbies: don't listen to upper years, they are full of shit!
If only a ray of sunshine in the form of HK would come and take my pain away...

Quote of the day: "it is never too early for a daiquiri" AMEN to that!

The New Gladiator

2005-05-12T11:30:00.000+10:00

This is an announcement to say that Josh has officially changed her status from "PET" to "GLADIATOR"

But... she is sitting next to me and saying she'd rather be pet... yes.. well we don't always get what we want now do we.... be content with what I give you...

The cleverest of the dumb bunch

2005-05-12T11:16:00.000+10:00

Someone told me after taxation that I was "slutty" because I got excited over knowing someone who's IQ seem to be topping the 180 mark, yes Rebecca and Shan, I am talking about you. Thanks... you guys are REAL friends....

Yes I realise that I'm not the smartest cookie in the world, but do you not think that *** may not like **** who are smarter than him because he is already smart enough for the both of us??!! And PLUS, why would he want to be talking to a genius and feel dumb when he can talk to little ol' me, who can make him feel like the smartest man in the whole wide world hehe

SO Becky, stop saying I'm slutty, and Shan no more ohh poor didi... I know exactly how this work and THAT makes me smart...

Psychic Louise

2005-05-06T00:05:00.000+10:00

Dear Louise... I've been wondering... it's has been what 12 days now? 2 more days to go until your so called "career opportunity in..." and i just wanna ask.. WHERE THE HELL IS IT??!!! $35.00 down the drain and no reply from anyone... you get my hopes up and then dash them...
=( Where are you my opportunities?... I'm so sick and tired of waiting...

Affair with vanity

2005-05-02T23:40:00.000+10:00

After falling in love with a fur coat and bring out the bucks to buy it... i am now feeling huge pangs of guilt. Thoughts of baby animals... supplied by a certain skunk and emphasise added by Joshi...i wonder if i shall ever touch it again..

I must admit vanity got the better of my conscience on saturday when I walked through a boutique and found a lovable fur coat... twirling around in front of the mirror and thinking about how it would look with boots walking down the streets left a fuzzy pink happy colour in my mind. But now thanks to my all supportive friends...that bubble has burst.

ohhh my poor coat... what shall I do with you??!!! *sob* *sob*

Mental note to self: no more going goo goo gaa gaaa over something that you are going to regret buying later because you know that eggs will be thrown at you if you wear it.

The reassuring email

2005-04-28T10:03:00.000+10:00

It is a sad day when even your closest friends gets sick of your rantings. After days of circling around in the same place, 5 nervous breakdowns and 2 little cries.... it all comes down to just one thing. An email from Linklaters telling me that they haven't even started screening...

Maybe psychic Louise is right... 10-14 days until a fantastic career opportunity. A trip to Spellbox on 21/04/05, 10 days means 01/05/05, 14 days = 05/05/05 which means next week? If the timing is correct and Lena is right in that screening hasn't even started yet... then maybe just maybe Madame Louise is really... MADAME LOUISE!!! and not some con artist like a certain "Ann" who happens to have told Joshi and I the same thing... "i see a big celebration in the near future"..... damnit that's 40 bucks down the drain for a load of bullshit that I could've told myself...

It's written in the stars

2005-04-06T22:55:00.000+10:00

If we all had just one path in life that we should take, then I am not sure if I've missed a turn somewhere. Being a last year student looking for a job really leaves a feeling remorse and regret on your tongue. Knowing that you've spent the last 4 years living in a daze, and now you're going to pay for it by worrying about applications, failed marks and the prospect of a non-existent job makes you, well basically hate yourself.

There are so many times i would change if i just had the power to turn back the clock. No petty fights, no saying things you come to regret later on, no screwing around with school work, no forging of spastic relationships.

can you really look forward to a successful future with a string of failures behind you?

evidently yes, thanks to josh - my little support center. Today we confirm the saying: if you want something badly enough, you will get it. But only if you want it bad enough.
Yes josh, i want it very very badly....here's hoping to a certain position at a certain firm and a night of lobster sashimi and a second course of lobster with ginger and shallot.

2005-03-25T02:41:00.000+11:00

ohh my fedora

2005-03-25T02:39:00.000+11:00

MAH MAN!!!

The Attack of the Fetish

2005-03-25T02:19:00.000+11:00

Wednesday afternoon saw 3 girls strutting down Chapel straight after class. A trip to Borders to order a book turned into a 'buying to satisfy craving' kinda thing. After gently weening myself off Ebay i know look back with hindsight and understand that the worst thing for an EA (Ebay Anonymous) to do a week after checking myself into the clinic is a trip down the beautiful street of Chapel. Chic shrugs, gypsy dresses, boho bags practically shouted my name as i walked down the lane. Restraint became paramount and guilty conscience inevitable.

I must learn the art of "refraining from buying unless absolutely necessary"... and i will...after i buy my mimco bag, balenciaga motorcycle le dix, another bettina liano, my grecian goddess top and indian coin necklace. I vow that i shall be satisfied after i acquire my treasured stash!!!!

Shouts go out to schmiggle who blew her budget and bought more than me..heheh thanks for making me feel better!!!

My Champion

2005-03-16T22:53:00.000+11:00

My high spirits after seeing Hitch died the moment i walked into the coffee shop. As if braving the cold during our walk from the car to the place wasn't bad enough, as soon as i sat down, i realised that there were some "ugly" views around. 4 views to be exact...looking gorgeous and sitting at the table next to us...and totally devastating for me.

I thought i'd learnt to control my feeling already, but obviously not... as i squirmed uncomfortably in my chair and tried to keep my eyes averted. 4 years of high school and years of uni has taught me one thing, to steer wayyy clear of them but it hasn't taught me how to forget...

I will never forget what it was like to be friends with them, to be hurt by them, to be talked about by them or ditched by them...it was like a whirlpool that i just couldn't get out of. Everytime i thought i have already put everything behind me, bam i see them and it all comes back and it still hurts...

still even when my thoughts were dark, there was a ray of sunshine...someone said "don't worry, i will defend you. If they talk bad about you, i will kick their ass". i will never be able to put properly into words how that made me feel. To know that someone was with me, that someone was willing to defend me, and they would do that because i was me.... it was nice...

I know you didn't want me to write this becky, but i still felt the need to say just how much i appreciate having you in my life. Thank you, and this is dedicated to you.

Boys and boyfriends

2005-03-10T00:36:00.000+11:00

When we were small, boys were disgusting germ-like creatures. we could crawl through the mud with them, play guns and robbers but when it comes to "he likes you hehehe, he loves you hehhe" it was like ewwww.
it's the period where your closest friends are you gal pals and the only thing on your mind is when you will be going to the park with them again.

boom comes adolescence and it all changes, all of a sudden, boys are the center of your world and your girlfriends take a backseat. you want to spend all of your waking time with him, and when you're not with him it's msgs and phone calls. even for those of us who don't have boyfriends, as soon as we hook up with someone it's bye bye..

when did boys become so important that everything had to revolve around them? sometimes i swear i miss the days when all of us were single and just went out and had fun. everybody gets together and do crazy things, but then bit by bith each of us pair off and now it's just left with ... it becomes more poignant when everybody goes out and its always them in doubles and you in singles

single life can feel lonely at times, but when you have true friends who are going to be there for you regardless it ain't so bad.
thank you schmiggle shan =) and pet squirrel

Time: our biggest curse

2005-03-09T01:12:00.001+11:00

A friend once told me that time is the one thing you can't have, the one thing that's beyond your control, the mystery that elludes you. Yet, it affects everything in your life and serves as a constant reminder that everything change and nothing ever stays the same.

While those optimistics among us would have us to believe that deep, consuming love is the one thing that time can't change, the stark reality is that love can also be eroded by time. no matter how much we were in love at one point, as time goes by it diminishes.

read a book the other day... a couple was so in love that when the guy died, the girl died with him and remained in the underworld for 500 years waiting for his reincarnation. during the 500 years, she longed and prayed for the day that they will reunite again, and when the day finally came, she realised that what she'd felt for him 500 years ago have been reduced to nothing more than faint, warm memories of the past and has been replaced by the love that exists now between her and someone who has stayed by her side for the last 500 years.

so it's true, when you're deeply in love with someone, you feel as if they're your soulmateand you can't live without them. then one day they leave you and you are filled with sadness, but as time goes on, you find someone else. you might not love him as much in the beginning but 50 60 years down the track, who is to say that your love for him won't overtake the your previous love. and you find that all that's left is just fond memories, a warm feeling but nothing more.

but all that aside, we should all believe that there is that one person out there for all of us, when you meet him you will know and that love will not fade with time, that it will only get stronger and stronger. hold onto that thought and THAT is a better way to be =)

The Religious Pull

2005-03-06T23:02:00.000+11:00

Ok, Autumn has just officially started today! it's like 18 degrees and it's not even suppposed to be that cold, not in March!!! Sitting in bible class wearing a pink wolly jumper has made me realised one thing, summer is over... and now i remember why i hated winter so much. isn't it funny, when the weather is hot you wish it was cold, and when the weather is cold you wish it was hot. why can't we just be happy with the weather dammnit! the same goes with life, we always want something different to what we have. Why can't we all just be happy? wouldn't the world be such a pretty place if we were all happy and content? We can even have a bon-fire on the beach, wear flowers on our head, skip around in a circle while reciting poetry? La Li La, Li La Li La...

Finally worked up the courage to ask a few questions that's been bothering me in bible class today and got a few answers that i was content with and some that i wasn't. Not intending to be controversial or anything and am a 100% believer, but it still seems that sometimes people can be so blinded their religion that they fail to see something objectively. Fellow classmate asked today if the muslims worshipped the same god allah as we do our father since the koran mentions Abraham and is a sort of derivative of christianity, and the resounding answer was "no, ofcourse not, our god don't tell us to fight and kill people"... definately had trouble keeping my mouth shut right then and there... felt the overwhelming need to tell her that no god in any religion, would tell his disciples to kill, raid, shed blood in their name, if that was the case then they won't be the god. further still, i won't mention how many wars catholics or christians have started in god's name through out history...

My point is that even though you're a christian, and believe all other religions to be b***shit, a little respect will never go astray, afterall, doesn't christianity teach us compassion, sympathy, love and acceptance?...... hmm.... ranting on, please please people (if you disagree), don't be offended by these non-chatalant thoughts. just me going off on a little tangent. =)

"The Age of Innocence"

2005-03-06T00:17:00.000+11:00

It has been a long time since meeting up with old high school buddies, it was nice to find out on Friday that even though our lives have evolved and moved onto different paths, our friendships still remained the same. A great night of bad stingy miserable japanese food and yummy yummy Max Brennar fondue, souffle and baka with chocolate and lots of laughter, catching up and dirty dirty talk... =)

Isn't is so strange that while you know who you are, in different people's eyes you're actually a different person. Take my crew for example, wobbly has always been the Charlotte, with her ideal, romantic notions blah blah, and I've been the "half samantha" with loud talks and crude jokes once in a while. But the tables turned last night, i became a a "charlotte with carrie's clothes" my friends actually thought i was a little prudish... it makes you wonder, are we just playing different roles with different people, or is it that you are who you are but multi-faceted, and if you are acting, then which one is the real you. Stupid question to ask, but am i playing a role to suit my purposes?... mmmm i wonder

Ok enough of the pondering, moving on. After max brennar, saw my favourite bitches. the night goes on with more food, drinks, deep talks and a car crash at Chapel. Catching up with old friends is good, it is fantastic! But going out at 12:00am trying to dress fashionably, snacking on cookies and cream and being stupid with my bunch =) i wouldn't give it up for anything.

and alas, i dedicate the title of this piece to my beautiful Benita who still sees the world through pink glasses. love you for that and i hope you never lose your innocence =)

Is there anything better than a ball game?

2005-03-04T00:05:00.000+11:00

emmm... thanks to the schmigglish shan and at Josh's urging I have started blogging. Feeling a bit self-conscious that my thoughts are out there for people to see..but OK!!! let me say a big hello everybody first. Special shouts go out to Schmiggle, pet, wobbly, skunky and BB becky.. you know who you are =) Your favourite gun has started blogging, aren't you proud?
this week has been ultra gloomy with uni starting and a reality check with old friends landing good jobs and you still stuck in a hole... but on the bright side, there's corporations law and IP.. ohhh wonderful IP classes, so intellectually stimulating, what would i do without you *muah*
...to be continued...