ohh my fedora 

MAH MAN!!! 

The Attack of the Fetish

Wednesday afternoon saw 3 girls strutting down Chapel straight after class. A trip to Borders to order a book turned into a 'buying to satisfy craving' kinda thing. After gently weening myself off Ebay i know look back with hindsight and understand that the worst thing for an EA (Ebay Anonymous) to do a week after checking myself into the clinic is a trip down the beautiful street of Chapel. Chic shrugs, gypsy dresses, boho bags practically shouted my name as i walked down the lane. Restraint became paramount and guilty conscience inevitable.

I must learn the art of "refraining from buying unless absolutely necessary"... and i will...after i buy my mimco bag, balenciaga motorcycle le dix, another bettina liano, my grecian goddess top and indian coin necklace. I vow that i shall be satisfied after i acquire my treasured stash!!!!

Shouts go out to schmiggle who blew her budget and bought more than me..heheh thanks for making me feel better!!!

My Champion

My high spirits after seeing Hitch died the moment i walked into the coffee shop. As if braving the cold during our walk from the car to the place wasn't bad enough, as soon as i sat down, i realised that there were some "ugly" views around. 4 views to be exact...looking gorgeous and sitting at the table next to us...and totally devastating for me.

I thought i'd learnt to control my feeling already, but obviously not... as i squirmed uncomfortably in my chair and tried to keep my eyes averted. 4 years of high school and years of uni has taught me one thing, to steer wayyy clear of them but it hasn't taught me how to forget...

I will never forget what it was like to be friends with them, to be hurt by them, to be talked about by them or ditched by them...it was like a whirlpool that i just couldn't get out of. Everytime i thought i have already put everything behind me, bam i see them and it all comes back and it still hurts...

still even when my thoughts were dark, there was a ray of sunshine...someone said "don't worry, i will defend you. If they talk bad about you, i will kick their ass". i will never be able to put properly into words how that made me feel. To know that someone was with me, that someone was willing to defend me, and they would do that because i was me.... it was nice...

I know you didn't want me to write this becky, but i still felt the need to say just how much i appreciate having you in my life. Thank you, and this is dedicated to you.

Boys and boyfriends

When we were small, boys were disgusting germ-like creatures. we could crawl through the mud with them, play guns and robbers but when it comes to "he likes you hehehe, he loves you hehhe" it was like ewwww.
it's the period where your closest friends are you gal pals and the only thing on your mind is when you will be going to the park with them again.

boom comes adolescence and it all changes, all of a sudden, boys are the center of your world and your girlfriends take a backseat. you want to spend all of your waking time with him, and when you're not with him it's msgs and phone calls. even for those of us who don't have boyfriends, as soon as we hook up with someone it's bye bye..

when did boys become so important that everything had to revolve around them? sometimes i swear i miss the days when all of us were single and just went out and had fun. everybody gets together and do crazy things, but then bit by bith each of us pair off and now it's just left with ... it becomes more poignant when everybody goes out and its always them in doubles and you in singles

single life can feel lonely at times, but when you have true friends who are going to be there for you regardless it ain't so bad.
thank you schmiggle shan =) and pet squirrel

Time: our biggest curse

A friend once told me that time is the one thing you can't have, the one thing that's beyond your control, the mystery that elludes you. Yet, it affects everything in your life and serves as a constant reminder that everything change and nothing ever stays the same.

While those optimistics among us would have us to believe that deep, consuming love is the one thing that time can't change, the stark reality is that love can also be eroded by time. no matter how much we were in love at one point, as time goes by it diminishes.

read a book the other day... a couple was so in love that when the guy died, the girl died with him and remained in the underworld for 500 years waiting for his reincarnation. during the 500 years, she longed and prayed for the day that they will reunite again, and when the day finally came, she realised that what she'd felt for him 500 years ago have been reduced to nothing more than faint, warm memories of the past and has been replaced by the love that exists now between her and someone who has stayed by her side for the last 500 years.

so it's true, when you're deeply in love with someone, you feel as if they're your soulmateand you can't live without them. then one day they leave you and you are filled with sadness, but as time goes on, you find someone else. you might not love him as much in the beginning but 50 60 years down the track, who is to say that your love for him won't overtake the your previous love. and you find that all that's left is just fond memories, a warm feeling but nothing more.

but all that aside, we should all believe that there is that one person out there for all of us, when you meet him you will know and that love will not fade with time, that it will only get stronger and stronger. hold onto that thought and THAT is a better way to be =)

The Religious Pull

Ok, Autumn has just officially started today! it's like 18 degrees and it's not even suppposed to be that cold, not in March!!! Sitting in bible class wearing a pink wolly jumper has made me realised one thing, summer is over... and now i remember why i hated winter so much. isn't it funny, when the weather is hot you wish it was cold, and when the weather is cold you wish it was hot. why can't we just be happy with the weather dammnit! the same goes with life, we always want something different to what we have. Why can't we all just be happy? wouldn't the world be such a pretty place if we were all happy and content? We can even have a bon-fire on the beach, wear flowers on our head, skip around in a circle while reciting poetry? La Li La, Li La Li La...

Finally worked up the courage to ask a few questions that's been bothering me in bible class today and got a few answers that i was content with and some that i wasn't. Not intending to be controversial or anything and am a 100% believer, but it still seems that sometimes people can be so blinded their religion that they fail to see something objectively. Fellow classmate asked today if the muslims worshipped the same god allah as we do our father since the koran mentions Abraham and is a sort of derivative of christianity, and the resounding answer was "no, ofcourse not, our god don't tell us to fight and kill people"... definately had trouble keeping my mouth shut right then and there... felt the overwhelming need to tell her that no god in any religion, would tell his disciples to kill, raid, shed blood in their name, if that was the case then they won't be the god. further still, i won't mention how many wars catholics or christians have started in god's name through out history...

My point is that even though you're a christian, and believe all other religions to be b***shit, a little respect will never go astray, afterall, doesn't christianity teach us compassion, sympathy, love and acceptance?...... hmm.... ranting on, please please people (if you disagree), don't be offended by these non-chatalant thoughts. just me going off on a little tangent. =)

"The Age of Innocence"

It has been a long time since meeting up with old high school buddies, it was nice to find out on Friday that even though our lives have evolved and moved onto different paths, our friendships still remained the same. A great night of bad stingy miserable japanese food and yummy yummy Max Brennar fondue, souffle and baka with chocolate and lots of laughter, catching up and dirty dirty talk... =)

Isn't is so strange that while you know who you are, in different people's eyes you're actually a different person. Take my crew for example, wobbly has always been the Charlotte, with her ideal, romantic notions blah blah, and I've been the "half samantha" with loud talks and crude jokes once in a while. But the tables turned last night, i became a a "charlotte with carrie's clothes" my friends actually thought i was a little prudish... it makes you wonder, are we just playing different roles with different people, or is it that you are who you are but multi-faceted, and if you are acting, then which one is the real you. Stupid question to ask, but am i playing a role to suit my purposes?... mmmm i wonder

Ok enough of the pondering, moving on. After max brennar, saw my favourite bitches. the night goes on with more food, drinks, deep talks and a car crash at Chapel. Catching up with old friends is good, it is fantastic! But going out at 12:00am trying to dress fashionably, snacking on cookies and cream and being stupid with my bunch =) i wouldn't give it up for anything.

and alas, i dedicate the title of this piece to my beautiful Benita who still sees the world through pink glasses. love you for that and i hope you never lose your innocence =)

Is there anything better than a ball game?

emmm... thanks to the schmigglish shan and at Josh's urging I have started blogging. Feeling a bit self-conscious that my thoughts are out there for people to see..but OK!!! let me say a big hello everybody first. Special shouts go out to Schmiggle, pet, wobbly, skunky and BB becky.. you know who you are =) Your favourite gun has started blogging, aren't you proud?
this week has been ultra gloomy with uni starting and a reality check with old friends landing good jobs and you still stuck in a hole... but on the bright side, there's corporations law and IP.. ohhh wonderful IP classes, so intellectually stimulating, what would i do without you *muah*
...to be continued...